Missing out due to Chronic Pain (Part 1) 

Have you ever sat back and watched, while the whole world seems to just carry on as normal?  Everyone going about their day just as they normally would, doing things they normally would without a second thought.  

When you suffer from Chronic Pain, the world doesn’t stop just because you feel awful that day, the world has to carry on, unfortunately, that’s just what happens.  But when you see people doing things, things that I used to do not so long ago, it cripples you.  

Most people I know go to the Gym, keep fit, exercise, even just go for a walk.  I used to.  I never gave it a second thought before this pain happened, now I miss it.  “Miss the Gym!?” you say!?  Yes!  As sad as it may sound I do miss being able to exercise, just like a normal person would.   I used to go for walks, and never thought about it, it was what I did and I could do it, now going for walks means part of my Physio exercises.  I can’t just “go” for a walk anymore, and I miss that, I miss the freedom, the fresh air amongst everything else.  Now it cripples me and i take days and sometimes weeks to recover if I do too much walking!  What’s that about, for god sake it’s just walking!! 

Part of my problem is my determination to hold on to the person I once was, and I don’t think that’s especially a bad thing, I think it’s only natural, but it does get me in to trouble most of the time.  I’m so determined to be and still be the same person, that I’ll start doing something I once was fit for, determined to see it through, till either I suddenly realise “oh sh*t I can’t do this” or I’m stopped by someone (usually the husband, with the stern voice shouted in my direction!).  I want to be normal, why the hell cant i just do normal things.  Frustration.  Walk away and get angry with myself.

It pains me so much to have to ask anyone for help just to do a simple thing, even picking up something from the floor I’ve dropped for example, most of the time I can’t bend down to get it, so then “can I get some help” is usually echoed through the house, with “yes, I’m coming” echoing back! 

Maybe I can cling on to me, maybe I can’t.  But if I don’t try, how will I know.  I can’t give up, but I can’t keep missing out, especially missing out on life……..

  

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7 thoughts on “Missing out due to Chronic Pain (Part 1) 

  1. I feel like this so much….thanks for posting this. It helps to know that others are going through these feelings of isolation and wanting to do all the things I used to. Praying for you, Lisa

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m always here darling, it’s so easy to get dragged down by everything that stops us doing what we want to do. Try to keep in mind the good things you can do and do for others, you’re such a wonderful friend, I’m sure you’re a great worker, a brilliant wife and so much more. In your heart, you will always be you. Let this make you stronger and keep determined to move forward. It’s what you say to me xxx

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  3. There are some days I need help getting a shirt on, other days I can walk a mile and feel pretty decent. I wish we could know what days would be good ones, ones that would allow us to move a little more freely.
    They say recovery may not return you to where you were before, but I too struggle with the “I just want to be normal again!!” feeling.
    Maybe clinging is a good thing in some ways…it means you aren’t willing to settle for just existing and you aren’t willing to give up without a fight. Keep fighting!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your words, this is exactly how i feel and I think how everyone with chronic pain feels. If only we knew what days are going to be “good” days that would take a lot of the stress away! Xxx

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  4. Very honest post I know how you feel. I always feel guilty that I’m holding my husband and kids back when it’s a lovely day and they want to go for a log walk or a bike ride and I just can’t do those things anymore. We have to stay positive though and just keep trying, some days are better than others xx

    Liked by 1 person

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