Circles…. Ever felt like you’re going round and round and round in circles? Like you’re on this never ending waltzer ride and the guy has walked off and left you spinning?
Just when things seem to calm down, you get back in to a routine and the ability to do things grows every day, then bang. Your knocked off that perch to fall flat on your face. Quite literally.
Just recently, my chronic pain has been getting worse by the day.
Now I usually just “suck it up” and get on with it, but this pain is not going unnoticed. I’ve been falling, unable to walk, sit, stand, lie down, pretty much everything. So imagine my dismay when I go to my GP, to ask for help and for her to possibly give me an answer as to why the pain has increased, and be told “your having a flare up”.
Then when the pain still doesn’t go away even after her apparent 6 week standard time for a back flare up, and is actually getting worse by the day, you book to see your Pain Specialist in the hope that he can give you some decent answers and actually answer your questions and calm your fears. Im there 5 minutes and he’s already written out a referral form for blood tests and an MRI scan, has answered my questions and has listened to me and my worries.
3 visits to my GP resulted in me pretty much being dismissed and her actually holding the door open for me as she decided that it was the end of my appointment. 3 appointments that she could have noticed that something was actually not quite right, even after me telling her something wasn’t right.
Why did I feel like I had to be the one to jump through hoops, to actually book to see my specialist. Why couldnt she just have taken me seriously and not just handed me a booklet to read on “back pain”.
For 7 weeks now my pain has been at an incredible level. I’ve been unable to do most of my daily tasks, and I’m literally so exhausted with the pain. For 7 weeks there’s a possibility that my disc has been pressing on my spinal cord again. For 7 weeks I’ve been treated like I’m a drug seeker. For 7 weeks my disc may have been doing major damage to my body. But for 7 weeks I’ve been left alone, to deal with this and told it was a “flare up”.
I’m fed up. I’m constantly running round in circles, constantly having to prove to people that my pain is real. Yet the one person that has dealt with me for 5 years (apart from my surgeon) actually paid attention to me and took me seriously and is actually now helping me. He is one of the few people that has seen me at my very lowest, and recognised the signs this time again.
If only I didn’t have to run around in circles for 7 weeks, I might have had a chance to stop any damage.
But I guess I’ll never know…..