So when I was referred to have private CBT sessions, which by the way have great “coping” techniques I still used 2 years on (and probably always will), I was asked to imagine my pain as a “thing”. Now when I first heard this, my thought was, imagine it, it’s bloody real and it’s right here! Why do I have to imagine it? Bare with me, it will all make sense!
I was asked to close my eyes and she talked to me, now it’s not a form of hypnotherapy, your very much in the room and with it, but everything that usually rattled my brain constantly, seemed to subside and I was focusing on her voice alone. She asked me what was the first thing that popped in to my head that related to my pain, that I could relate to daily. My answer, the BFG (the Big Friendly Giant), and yes your correct the one from the film! But this BFG wasn’t the one from the film as such, this one was a very tiny version. Now we have all seen the Angel and Devil characters in films etc that sit on either side of your shoulder, whispering opposite thoughts to you, well this, he, was mine, this is my pain. A small version of the BFG that sits on my shoulder and keeps me “company”.
We didn’t stop there. I was asked what colour I imagine my pain to be. No time to think about it, you just have to say what comes to you first. My answer RED. Red seemed like the logical colour choice no? Your’e in pain, it’s angry, sore pain, and I reflect pain as the colour red. Red it was. And red my shoulder friend was too.
Next question. “What do you call your friend?”. First thought was, Bob. So. There it was, my pain imagined. My little friend that is with me all day every day.
It’s hard to explain to someone unless you have had CBT sessions, what I mean by having Bob with me every day, constantly. I am not aged 5, and no he’s not my imaginary friend, but he is my reminder, my reminder of doing too much. He gets angry with me, he’s happy with me, and he’s always there.
I don’t talk to him as such, I’m not walking about every day talking to someone sitting on my shoulder that is not actually there like a raving lunatic!). But in my head we talk to each other. If I am doing something I shouldn’t be, he is there to remind me to stop whatever I’m doing and behave. If I don’t he turns red, which means he is angry which means I’m on the way to pain. So this is my reminder, my point of reference to behave myself.
Now for a couple years I’ve had Bob in my head, only ever an image of him. I have always wanted to have him on paper, drawn, so that I have something to look at, another reminder to behave myself if you like!
So out went a Twitter message asking/searching for anyone that could draw Bob, see if as I can’t draw to save my life! After a few messages and introductions (Thank you Steffie!!), along came Georgia. Looking at all her drawings and art work, I was blown away, what this girl can do is amazing! Such a talent! The end result is just more than I can even ask for. The detail is perfect and it’s Bob!!
So world, here goes! Meet my friend Bob, the BFG!
*NOTE* I could not have managed to visualise Bob with out the help of Georgia, an amazingly talented lady. Georgia, I cannot thank you enough for making Bob real, I will forever be grateful to you.
Please take a look at Georgia’s work here:
*All image credit to Georgia Goddard*