Make a Wish… 

  
What’s the one thing in the world you would wish for? If you had just 1? Health, Wealth, Happiness? That longed for lottery win? To live happily ever after just like a fairy tale?  To be rid of a health issue? To talk to that long missed relative?

Whatever it is, we all have that one wish, one that stays with us, even though we add more wishes to the list as we live our lives.  That one wish we cling to as if our lives depend on it, that we so desperately want to come true, no matter how realistic it may be, it’s your wish.

I’m no different.  

I remember my wishes growing up, and probably most people had the same line of thought, it’s what you do when you grow up! Ive wished be a Vet, an astronaut.  To meet the Spice Girls and East 17 (don’t judge!!) !!  To one day own a massive house, I’m talking mansion size house.  To have loads of pets to take care of.  To have a successful career and be financially comfortable.  To own a sports car, but also have an old classic car in the garage (of my mansion) just as a “toy”.  To one day be married.  To have children.  To live a happy life. 

These are all perfectly valid wishes (OK East 17 and Spice Girls are out of the question, I long for a reunion people!!), and why can’t a girl dream, there’s nothing wrong with that is there?

But then I never thought I would have health problems at 25.  I never thought that in one normal moment, my life would change forever. That I would have to muster up this inner strength from somewhere inside just to make it though a day.  

Your priorities change, and along with that, so have my wishes.  Sure, I still want a mansion house, but the reality is, I’ll never be able to have one now, I can’t maintain it, can’t clean it, nothing.  (Although I do like to think if I had a mansion, I’d have a team of staff working for me!!).  I would still love to have my “old car” in the garage and take it for a Sunday run, but the reality is, old cars aren’t built for comfort, so how on earth would I sit in it for more than 5 minutes? I can’t be financially comfortable because I can no longer work the same hours i used to. Anyway you get where I’m going with this.  Things change.  Life changes. 

So my wishes now?  Well I am now married, and I am (we both are I hope!!) very very happy.  I wouldn’t change that for the world.  We have all our furry babies, I do of course want more, but I have to think about the reality of that! 2 cats, a dog and a fish are more than enough right now! *looks up Bengal kittens for sale*….

But more than anything, anything that I have ever wanted, is the old me back.  I wish I could turn back the clock, I wish I had never bent down that day to pick up Fergie’s food dish.  I wish I hadnt been so blasé when I was younger, taking my back for granted and looked after it.  

But is that all?  No, of course not.  I wish more than anything for that one day, one whole lovely long day, where I didn’t have pain, where I could do what I want that day and not suffer for it for days/weeks after.  To run like my life depended on it just because I could.  To wear the most ridiculously stupid highest of high heels.  I’d take no tablets for one day so no forcing them down my throat.  All the things that I want to do, but can’t.  I’d have a VERY busy day thats for sure!! 

So although I’d love to have that one day, where everything was perfect, my only wish, my one wish would be to have the life I once had, to have the old me back.

Id give anything for that.  Anything.  That chance to be happier in myself, be happy, crazy and silly all at the same time and not care what people think.  To be the one that never stays home, always doing something, having a social life.  Having a life.  So many things, to many to mention, all these things I miss.  All theses thing I wish I could have back.

I wish, I wish, I wish……..

  

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11 thoughts on “Make a Wish… 

  1. What a great read, made me feel a bit sad of course, I really get what you mean Kat. Not sure what the old you was like as I didn’t know you, but I definitely love the you right now, I know you suffer but you’re still an amazing person and I’m VERY glad you’re in my life xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh how I know the feeling. Though I don’t wish for the old me anymore, I now know I’ve grown from my illness and pain, in a good way, but a life without my health complications? Oh yes, every day I wish for that. A very real and emotional read. Thank you! xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

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