Emergency – noun
A serious , unexpected, and often dangerous situation requiring immediate action
“Personal alarms for use in an emergency”
synonyms: crisis, urgent situation, extremity, exigency;
So after an eventful week, which saw me struggling to stand up, walk and sit down, enough was enough. I was at my wits end and getting seriously pissed off with every passing second.
I tried to call the doctor for an appointment, realising that it was May Day and they were closed shortly after dialling. So the following day I called, on the eve of my 31st birthday I might add, and was told to speak to a doctor. So added to the “call back” list I waited. Sure enough 20 mins later I was called back. I explained what was going on, that I couldn’t stand up or walk any distance, and the pain was horrendous. I was told to come in to be checked over.
So 11am, I made my way there. Seriously pissed and determined I was getting answers, I sat there and waited. And waited. And waited. Eventually, 20 mins after my appointment time I was taken. Not able to get up from the seat, I made my way to the room. Now it’s at this point that I always think the doctor looks at me and thinks “God here we go, hypochondriac alert”, but genuinely I was struggling to get out of the seat, seeing as they aren’t people friendly. But you know what, anger and determination was taking over, and today I wasn’t giving 2 hoots what she thought. I was ready, primed and going to kick ass.
She examined me by getting me on the stupid bed thing, tested my reflexes, and strength in my legs. Never once was my back looked at, till I asked her to confirm that where I thought the pain was, was possibly the SI area giving me jipp. If i hadn’t have asked, she wouldn’t have looked. I mean there is no big flashing neon sign that says “PAIN RIGHT HERE”, but still, she could have checked right?
So when she said “ok you can take a seat”, and then proceeded to tell me that what I was having was just a flare, I was deflated. Someone just took a massive needle and popped that ballon without a care in the world. A FLARE, are you kidding me!!
I’m turning 31 in a days time, 31. I’m not 91, I should be able to walk and bloody stand up, but yet, it’s just a flare. But then she proceeded to tell me that she didn’t see why I needed and emergency appointment, as i was not an emergency case. My spinal cord was NOT being compressed.
I did NOT ask for an emergency appointment, the partner of the surgery made the appointment, I just did as I was told and turned up. It hadn’t crossed my mind that it might be my spinal cord being trapped, SHE made that decision not me, but yet I’m the only person in the room, being belittled… Again. The pain was serious, serious enough to stop me from walking and stand up, and it was unexpected, so perhaps it should have been an emergency?
I was told to take the week off work and dope myself up on painkillers. I mean after all “it’s just a flare”, so it’s nothing she can help with.
I made my way to the car, again pissed. But more pissed that my determination to stand my ground and not leave without an answer was shot to pieces as soon as I stepped in that room. Tears again rolled down my face, but I had no idea why I was crying. Anger? Everything had built up and this was my way of letting it all go? Probably.
So I wasn’t an emergency according to her. I mean I didn’t think I was an emergency, I never asked to be one in the bloody first place! But was there any need to make me feel like I was wasting her time, again?
What do i need to do to make her understand that something is wrong. That walking one minute and being flat on my face the next, isn’t right. That this stabbing sharp shooting pain going down my legs, is agony and making me unable to walk. That breathing is even hurting. Being alive is hurting.
So after my crappy start to the week, it wasn’t going to get any better. I was to spend yet another birthday off my face on painkillers, because after all, it was just a flare, nothing emergency about it.
Happy birthday to me….