When you are given advice from a person in some form of authority, do you trust it? Or do you trust your gut and ignore them?
What about when it comes to your health, does the same apply?
I’ve just seen my Consultant at the Pain Clinic, who has advised that he wants to do another set of Spinal Injections. And soon. The problem is, the last 4 times I have had injections (different injections/area each time!) they have ALL failed. Now, of course, that’s a risk you take with everything, with any surgery, there’s a chance it will “fail”, but the chance this time round is higher.
Then he also mentioned, that I may end up in more pain than I am now. Seriously! I like to think that my pain threshold is now über amazing – I can pretty much stand most things that someone else can’t, but seriously, this added pain that started in October is getting the better of me, and it’s taking its toll. Why on earth would I want to add more pain to it!?
At the appointment i agreed to it, so long as I could get my insurance to cover it. I even said, and I quote – “fine, lets do it, I can’t take much more of this”.
But walking out and driving home, I battled with my thoughts. Even talking to Michael about it later in the day, I’m doubting I’m doing the right thing.
My heart says – Do it, what have you got to loose, it may well work this time and it may give you a tiny bit of relief for a possible few months.
My head says – Don’t be so stupid. It hasn’t worked the last 4 times, more than likely won’t work this time. You’ll spend atleast 10 days recovering from the procedure, and still be weak for 3-4 weeks after. You’ll probably end up with more pain and nothing gained.
Normally I would have just done what he suggested, in the hope that anything would help and it would all work. But I really don’t know if I can do it again. I also can’t go through the disappointment of failure again. You have to remember, my 1st back surgery failed, then straight after, 4 spinal procedures all failed – I’m really not equipped to handle any more failures. It takes a piece of your heart and soul away each time. Something I will never get back. Something I can’t let happen time and time again.
So what do I listen to? Head or Heart?