For every day use, I wish there was something I could wear or temporarily tattoo on my forehead, just to explain to people how I feel that day, and to make my pain more obvious to those that are completely oblivious around me.
For example, a trip to ASDA, I’d have “Yes I can park in this disabled space, and you don’t need to watch me to see how “disabled” I look”. Perhaps a shortened version, but you get the drift!
Perhaps on the days that I really don’t want to talk to anyone, let alone be asked “how are you” I could have something like “leave me alone – pain making me grumpy”.
I don’t know how you “get over” this feeling, but this feeling has stuck with me, ever since the first day I was glowered at and made a joke of for parking in a disabled space. Those catty women will not forget me in a hurry that’s for sure (Especially when I screamed at them and asked if they had a problem!!) But just as they wont forget me, I can’t forget them. That day bloody hurt every emotion and bone in my body. I’ll never forget how 2 grown women made me feel. Never.
I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to have to justify every move I make, why I park in a disabled space, why I have a crutch or why I haven’t done my hair that day.
Gone are the days when I could walk up the street or to the shops and not one person would take any notice of me. Now it’s like a magnet is permanently attached to me, attracting all the horrible nasty people, along with their comments and questions. *Sigh*.
Perhaps I need a neon sign, sorta like where my halo would be (if it hadn’t slipped!?), but then that would draw more unwanted attention!
Perhaps I just need to man up and get over the comments and dirty looks. After all, if I advertise my chronic pain, it’s only going to draw more attention to little ol’ me!