My wedding day was the happiest day of my life. I married by best friend, and now I have him, my husband, by my side every day.
But only 3 months after our wedding day, both our lives changed. It’s not the life I had planned and it’s not the life I had wanted for us both. I had plans, we had plans.
Every day the one constant person in my life has to deal with me. The pain me. The moody me. The exhausted me. The new me.
I had never dreamed that my husband would be the person to pick me up off the floor, help me off the toilet, help me get dressed and be the only person to keep me motivated to carry on when the day is too much to cope with.
What happened to the life we had planned, the things we wanted to do and the places we wanted to see?
I happened. Me.
The guilt I have every day waking up next to my husband is so overwhelming. Not knowing what that day will hold for me, let alone him. Will today be the day that he can’t pick me up off the floor? Will today be the day he finally say’s enough and walks away from me?
Every day I hope and pray that he comes home and doesn’t leave me. Every day we take as it comes, and every day, so far, he is still by my side.
Am I a wife?
Or Am I a burden?