Reaching my Breaking Point

“Life has no remote, get up and change it”

We all have limits. We all have points where we cannot go on any longer. We all have breaking points.

I am no different.

Unfortunately it took a health scare and hospitalisation for me to reach breaking point, and for me to reach the realisation that life has got to change.

Loosing use of my arms, my legs, unable to walk and unable to and even communicate properly was terrifying. Seeing the look in my husbands face when he saw me, the look of panic and worry when “brain bleed” and “meningitis” were mentioned, yet I couldn’t find or say the words to comfort him, that was also terrifying.

I’ve kept on going for so long now, making sure that everyone else is doing ok. We’ve had some very worrying times this year, causing lots of stress and anxiety, all alongside life in general, and my body has reacted to it all. My body broke.

I guess its a sort of cliché to say the warning signs were there, but they were, and as I usually do, I pushed them to the side and ignored them. But by doing this, I reached my limit in the most scary of ways. I scared those around me. I scared myself. I terrified myself.

Perhaps it was the wake up call I needed. Perhaps it was something that needed to happen for me to wake up and realise that the path I was taking, was doing me more damage. But I broke my body to come to this realisation.

I’ve said it many times before, and I guess we are all guilty of saying what we think we want to hear, but things in my life have to change.

My life has to change.

I have to change.

I will change.